Mui Ne...It's Kind of Crassssy Man

After a couple days in the big city of Saigon, we were in need of some beach time.  We hopped on a five dollar bus and found ourselves in the beach town of Mui Ne five hours later.  A fast talking English man jumped on our bus once we arrived and convinced us to stay at his hostel.  Obviously, we booked the VIP bungalow next to the beach as we had millions of dong.  

Side note:  We are now referring to ourselves as "Kingpackers", not backpackers.  As Andrew says, "We do king shit."  King shit includes popping bottles to a view of the ocean, sometimes ordering two entrées at dinner, and spending up to $10 per person on a hotel room.

On our third day at Mui Ne, we took a jeep tour to the surrounding areas.  

We stopped by a splendid stream valley that had some really nifty rock formations.  We saw sedimentary, metamorphic, and even a few igneous rocks!

We also stopped by an ostrich racing farm where Andrew and Max took a lap on a race ostrich.  Everyone was amazed by our country boy talents.

Later, we stopped by some sand dunes where you could go sand sledding.  It was a lot of fun aside from getting sand in all the worst places, walking back up the dunes, and dealing with the gangster sand Vietnamese kids who charge a whole dollar to rent the sleds.

Here's an action shot of Andrew throwing a double front flip off a sand dune.

The gangster sand kids also had a monkey that did back flips and funny monkey things.  He seemed really happy considering he had a metal leash around his neck.

For dinners on Mui Ne, there are about a hundred little street restaurants that serve fresh seafood.  Once you pick out your dinner, they scoop out the fish/frog/eel and throw it on the ground.  They then bash it over the head until it's immobile.  It tasted alright.

At nights, we would go out and get smashed with our new friends (Andrew's patying on some water).  This is a picture of us with the homie Jah.  Jah is a professional singer from Singapore.  One night, we took him to a live music bar where he played jams like "Drive" and "Wonderwall".  Chill vibes.

Saigon - Phoget About It!

We manged to escape Cambodia via a 5 hour bus ride to Saigon, Vietnam.  It is a huge city, but it was much cleaner than Cambodia.  It also has more motor bikes than any city in the world (by my estimations).  After arriving, we immediately were on the hunt for some big dong.  Dong is the Vietnamese currency.  Once we wrapped our hands around some dongs, we were able to enjoy everything Saigon had to offer.

For our first lunch, we went to a pho restaurant that Bill Clinton went to when he visited the city.  The pho was pretty good and comparable to Than Bro's in Seattle.  We later found some other pho places that were better and cheaper.  Not surprisingly, Bill Clinton made a poor decision with his dong.

Later, we went to the war remnants museum.  It had a lot of badass American tanks, war planes, and artillery.  As the museum was very anti-American, we walked around with scowls on our faces.  Beginning on Friday, the Vietnamese will be celebrating the anniversary of the day that North Vietnam won the war.

Andy and Andrew went to a horse racing track the next day.  Thirty seconds before this race started, the horse in stall number one was upside down on its back inside the starting gate.  Both the guys successfully wagered 50,000 dong on the winning horse of this race and received a commie payout of 2,000 dong.

The highlight of our Saigon trip came while we got lost in a non-tourist section of the city.  While walking down the street, we came across an impromptu cock fight.  Needless to say, cocks and dongs were flying everywhere!

Phnom Penh, CamBrodia

After leaving Siem Reap, we took a 5 hour bus ride into the bustling city of Phnom Penh.  It is a terribly poor and dirty city, but it gave us some time to do some good broing out.

Above is a picture of a tuk tuk ride we took from our hotel to the riverfront.  If you cannot tell by the picture, our tuk tuk driver was an idiot.  Not only did he not know where we were going, but he decided to go the wrong way up a street. At least he was smiling so we felt safe.

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Phnom Penh did provide some excellent shopping opportunities.  Above are Andrew's purchases.  He bought a Lacoste polo, a Louis Vuitton wallet, and some sexy Louis Vuitton undies.  All of this was purchased for under $15!  I don't know how they can afford to sell these items so cheaply, but we definitely took advantage of the deals.  Max purchased a red Lacoste polo for only $5.  It is the new summer 2011 edition where the crocodile is swimming and doesn't have legs.  It also has an extra large tongue to show how hot it is up in the club.

Cambodia did have some surprisingly good food.  The service sometimes fell short of what we're accustomed to, but the above lady was extremely kind.

While feeling a little homesick, we bought some beers to drink by the water to remind us of home.  This was the high point of CamBrodia.

Well, at least the highpoint for Andrew and Max.  Andy's high point came while eating ice ceam on a tuk tuk. Have you ever seen such pure joy on someone's face?

Culture Post #1 - Khmer Rouge

While in Penom Penh, we were able to indulge into a portion of Cambodia's disturbing past.  To summarize, this dick named Pol Pot came to power around 1975 and turned the country into a communist state.

For the record, I absolutely hate communists.   If you simply look at the history of all previous communist regimes, it is clear that is one of the worst ideas of all time.  Commies are bastards.

Anyways, believe it or not, the Cambodian communist regime was evil and began killing anyone who was viewed as an opposition of the regime.  They went on to brutally murder anyone not of pure Cambodian descent, people with college degrees, and anyone viewed as intelligent enough to know that Pol Pot was a genocidal prick.  To save bullets, the victims were killed by bludgeoning (beaten to death with blunt objects, knives, or whatever was available).  Then, believe it or not, the country began suffering from famine, shortages of necessities, and not having access to lifesaving medicines.  This happens under every commie regime. Finally, the Vietnamese came in and liberated Cambodia in 1979.

A photograph of remains of victims that were bludgeoned to death.

The entrance to one of the buildings of S-21.  This was a high school that was converted into a torture chamber/prison for Khmer Rouge opposition.  People suspected of having capitalist ideals were taken here to be tortured until they said they were guilty.  They were then taken to the "Killing Fields".

Above is the memorial erected at the Killing Fields 15 kilometers outside Penom Penh.  The memorial is filled with bones of Khmer Rouge victims that were excavated from the site.

Above are skulls inside the memorial.  There are 17 levels of bones inside the building.

As the above sign indicates, this tree was used to execute small children.  Executioners would grab the children by their ankles and smash their heads against the tree trunk.

An estimated 1.7 to 2.5 million people were killed during the Khmer Rouge.  The effects are still evident throughout Penom Penh today.  A final disgusting fact is that Pol Pot died in his sleep in 1998, never having to be found guilty of the heinous crimes he committed.  To learn more, here is the Wikipedia link, or contact Andrew Scott.  Being so emotionally touched by the historical sites, he purchased a book on the subject and supposedly read it.

Cambodian Vids

Here are some cultural videos for your enjoyment.  The first one is what we saw while our bus was stopped in between Siem Reap and Phnom Penh.  It's a little creepy  Nevermind, my mom says it's not creepy.  The second video is a traditional Cambodian dance we stumbled upon while in Siem Reap.  Max is tripping out on the happy pizza.

Angkor What?

We arrived in the intriguing town of Siem Reap a few nights ago with mixed emotions.  We were exhausted from travelling for 8 hours with upset tummies, but the excitement of seeing the beautiful temples of Angkor Wat (along with knowing we would soon be sleeping in a refreshing air-conditioned hotel) gave us the strength to endure the trek.  Once we arrived, we met a friendly tuk tuk driver named Meta.  Little did we know, he would soon become our untrustworthy chauffeur just two days later.

Despite our long burning desire to begin exploring the ancient ruins, we decided to rest the next day and explore Siem Reap.  We found a hip American rock bar where Andrew finally felt at home.  After enjoying some $0.50 beers and playing a few games of pool, we tagged up the walls with clever sayings such as "Andrew FUCKING Scott" and "FN Bros 2011."

Later in the night, our adventurous threesome treated ourselves to fish foot massages.  For one dollar, we were allowed to put our feet in a tub of water filled with starving fish that eat the dead skin off your feet.  Andy creepily enjoyed the experience, while Andrew and Max thought it was "too tickly."

Due to our stomach issues, we decided to stick to a strict diet of pizza and ice ceam until we felt better.  That night we ate at a pizzeria named Happy Herb Pizza.  We read in the Lonely Planet book that the pizza at this restaurant included a "somewhat illegal ingredient that made visitors feel a little funny."  Andrew and Max split a large Hawaiian pizza.  While Andrew enjoyed the funny feeling, Max turned into a huge pansy and asked to be tied to Andy so he wouldn't get lost.  As we returned to the hotel, the workers and their Cambodian comrades were throwing a party.  It was unclear whether this was a celebration of our arrival or for the Cambodian New Year.

The next morning, we were woken up by Slave Meta at 5:00am to finally explore Angkor Wat.  In Cambodia, it is known as the 8th Wonder of the World.  It is also the largest religious complex in the world.

Here is a picture of Andrew and Meta.  Andrew was feeling sick that morning, but Meta was friendly enough to escort him around and let him sleep in the tuk tuk.  The relationship was peaking at this point.

Above is a picture of the Tomb Raider temple at Angkor Wat.  The name was changed to the Tomb Raider temple because some scenes from the Angelina Jolie movie Tomb Raider were filmed here.  It was very neat!

Our relationship with Meta sadly turned sour the next day.  After Meta aggressively attempted to tuk tuk us to tourist traps after Angkor Wat, he awoke us the next morning for more soliciting.  We continuously said no, but Meta did not understand.  That is until Andrew yelled, "META!!!  Leave us the fuck alone!"

Our Cambodian friends who worked at our hotel were devastated to see us leave the next morning.  In fact, they were so bummed that they tried to make us miss our bus out of the city!  Crazy Cambodians...

Happy Thai New Years! Ohhhh Sooo Wet!!!!

Throughout our extensive planning for the trip, we never managed to notice that the Thai New Year is recognized in the middle of April.  The Thai New Year is celebrated by everyone standing in the middle of the street dousing each other with sea water and chalk powder for three days.  This was a lot of fun for about 45 minutes, but it made doing a lot of things on the island very difficult.  This includes going to get diarrhea pills without getting soaked, taking a backpack anywhere without getting soaked, and getting the hell off of the island.  So, we decided to stick around Koh Chang for a few more days and show the Thais how we American boys get down.

We took an all day snorkel cruise that stopped at four different islands.  There were lots of colorful fish to be seen, but we preferred to take pictures of ourselves.

Above is an action shot of Max coming down for a smooth landing after throwing a gainer off the top of the snorkel boat.

Please note that the cigarette is "just for show", and Andrew neither smokes nor condones the smoking of cigarettes.  Also, the flab on his stomach is solely due to his posture in the picture.  His stomach is actually much sexier looking than the above picture portrays.

 Three party bros enjoying a few minutes in the shade.  Unfortunately, these were the only minutes in the shade, and two of us no longer have skin on our shoulders.

We had to buy some squirt guns and makeshift water bombs in order to protect ourselves from crazy Thais while walking around the island.  It was all in good fun until we got drenched in water while on a taxi to get off the island.  This resulted in a loud "F U!!!" from Andrew along with the necessary middle finger gesture.  I'm sure the Thais knew it wasn't personal...

After getting off the island, we spent a night in the God forsaken town of Trat.  The nicest building in the town was a KFC, which we obviously went to for dinner.  We then left the next morning and took a 6 hour bus ride to the Cambodian border.  The bus ride was pleasant aside from the driver stopping every 4 minutes to let people on/get soda pops/play with his friends who were throwing buckets of water at the bus.  Anyways, we are now in the lovely country of Cambodia where everything is paid for in US dollars, and you can rent a slave for as little as $15 a day.  Our slave is named Meta.

Alright Laterz Bangkok...Hey Koh Chang

Bangkok is a little like Vegas. It's a lot of fun for a few nights, but it's really tough to handle for any longer than that.  So we decided we needed to reward ourselves with a little relaxing on the island of Koh Chang.  We hopped on a bus in Bangkok and took a 5 hour trip to the city of Trat. Here, we took a ferry and arrived on Koh Chang.

Everyone on the island was extremely excited for the party bros to arrive.  We haven't run into any Americans yet on the island, but have spent some time with a lot of Swedes and a few Germans.  

We spent our first night in the above bungalow on the beach.  For the three of us, it cost 360 baht, about 13 US dollars.  We definitely got what we paid for.  It was full of mosquitoes and geckos, had no air conditioning, and had a salt water shower.  Needless to say, it was not ideal for us three American princes. We spent the night at a beach party outside our bungalow where a stage was setup with a DJ playing terrible Euro dance music.  We showed all the Euros our smooth American dance moves and had a great time drinking Red Bull whiskey buckets.  Then, the morning came and the hangover/no sleep/heat/bug bites kicked in, and we were ready to give up on life.

We got out of bed around 7:00am and got the hell off the above party beach in a desperate search for some air conditioning.  We took a cab down to a secluded beach and rented the below bungalow which had AC, Wi-Fi, and a TV.  Obviously, we chose the Jeff Gordon number 24 bungalow.  We were back to living the good life.

We spent the next couple days relaxing and enjoying the adventures on Koh Chang.

Monkeys fighting over a piece of gum.

Soaking in some scenery and throwing around a coconut like a football.

Eating some spicy Thai food.

And, Andrew got his Easy Rider on by cruising around the island on a moped.  I'm still amazed by how badass he looks on one of those things.  Andy and Max would have rented them also, but Max didn't have the proper shoes while Andy didn't want to leave Max by himself.  It clearly wasn't because Max struggles on a normal bicycle and was too much of a pussy to mob around on a moped.

Rat Tail Party Time!

5 hours of fun with a rat tail.  Apparently, they aren't near as popular in Bangkok as they are in the USA.

Bangkok Day 2: Getting Adjusted

Andy could not shake the malaria pill side affects and spent the day like this.

After puking up some Burger King, Andrew found a nice plate of spaghetti. Man, this Thai food is great.

We ventured out to Soy Cowboy with our new buddy Scott.  He's a wild man. Soy Cowboy is the home to thousands of hookers, hundreds of dirty Europeans, and a few of the coolest street kids in the world.

This is Scott right before he clocked homegirl in the head with a right hook (what a jerk).  Just kidding Scotty boy.

Here's Max negotiating a fair deal with a lovely prostitute...just kidding...

Here's just some badass photography.

Now, we are leaving Bangkok and heading out to the beaches of Ko Chang.  Definitely ready to escape the Bangkok scene for a while.