Go Plank Yourself Challenge

In case you missed it, Andrew Scott was ranked #14 in the latest Top US Planker Ratings.  To celebrate, we decided to let our readers challenge the newly ranked planker.  Post your best planking shot as a comment in this post, and the winner will receive an exclusive fnbros t-shirt!

I realize probably no one will post a comment since no one ever does (haters), so I hope you at least enjoy the photos.

Awwww Phuket

I know this blog has portrayed our trip as being extremely glamorous and full of non-stop fun.  All the partying, beautiful women, and money being thrown in the air have created the fantasy world we now pretend to live in.  Unfortunately, our travels have not always been as smooth and glitzy as they may appear.  We've been living as travelers, not treating ourselves to the luxurious lifestyle we're accustomed to back in the US.  This means residing at places that do not have provide free HBO (occasionally), do not provide free moisturizing lotion, and only have one pillow per bed.  Luckily, Max's parents realized we deserved better and met up with us at the J.W. Marriott in Phuket.

To get to Phuket, we had to take a ferry ride followed by a 6 hour bus ride.  As usual, we could not go anywhere without being harassed by paparazzi.  Here's a picture of Andy with a Thai lady who believed he was Ben Affleck.  This is a very common occurrence.

After arriving at the resort, Andrew quickly got over his reverse culture shock and acclimated to the resort lifestyle.

As we began feeling refreshed, we decided to begin our mornings with yoga sessions (no homo).  At least Andy did, Max and Andrew only woke up early enough for one session.  It is still unclear whether Andrew or the other guys were facing the wrong direction in this picture.

Here's a picture of the new chunky Fabio and his parents.  Congrats Mom for being blog worthy.

 We wanted to give back on this trip by interacting with local children and maybe even volunteering to help teach kids English.  We began our philanthropic efforts by waving at some school kids and even giving a few of them thumbs up.  I highly recommend volunteering with kids if you ever get a chance, it's extremely rewarding.

Staying on the local topic, Andrew and Renee had some good interaction with our maids as they spent some time making neat towel designs.  Just in case you can't tell, there's a bird's nest, a rabbit, a dog, and two swans kissing.

Preview of the Kabrich's Christmas/Chanukah card.  Add your address as a comment if you want a copy in December.

Poisonous frog.

Andrew licking a live crab.  He's still extremely scared of all creatures, but he was a little drunk and always ready to sacrifice himself for the camera.

Picturesque sunset that Johnny "painted" for his wife.  This is a nightly occurrence unless she pisses him off or limits his drink intake for the day.

The highlight of the Phuket stop was definitely renting jet skis.  If you haven't been on a jet ski before, you haven't really lived.  Here's a shot of Andrew getting his Kenny Powers on.

Andy, Max, and John also spent a day scuba diving.  On the way back, they spotted the famous Big Buddha of Phuket in the distance.  It is very similar to the giant Jesus statue in Rio de Janeiro as seen on Fast at Furious 5.  Again, if you haven't seen this movie, you haven't really lived.

Finally, there were lots of brews enjoyed by bros by the pool.  We were finally living the lives we've come to deserve through all our hard work.

Full Moon Party Time!

America has the Super Bowl, Muslims have their pilgramage to Mecca, party bros in SE Asia have the Full Moon Party.  Once I realized that my shots at the NBA were slim, I began focusing all my efforts into being a party bro and a really good dancer.  The Full Moon Party provided the stage for us to finally showcase the product of all our hard work.   Every month, 20,000 to 30,000 travelers crowd around a small beach on Koh Phangan to celebrate the moon being full.  The ocean becomes a toilet, and I'm pretty sure a hand full of people die at each party.  Our day began at 4pm when we took a speed boat from the island of Koh Samui to Koh Phangan.

We immediately bonded with some bros from Dubai who were on our speed boat.  These boys were ready to party like it was September 11th.

Once we got to Koh Phangan, we took another boat to a beach away from the party to enjoy some serene time before things got crazy.  Our friend Molly told us to scope out a bar called Eden to chill out prior to the big party.  It was at the far end of an empty beach and looked like a place from Robinson Crusoe (not that I'm a nerd and have read that book, just sounded like the right thing to say).

At Eden, Andrew came across a local green tobacco cigarette that put him in the right state of mind.  Even some of the local Thais coughed when smoking this hand rolled cigarette, but for some reason Andrew handled the harshness like a champ.

Once we arrived back at Koh Phangan, the sun had gone down and the wildness had started.  Aside from the five stages playing techno and trance music, there were fire jump ropes, fifteen thousand drunk idiots, and one badass fire slide.

Andy was feeling extreme and went down the fire slide without hesitation (Look Betsy, no hands!).

After asserting our dominance as the most extreme Americans on the beach, we got after the body paint (don't mind Max's gut and titties hanging out, he was being a funny guy).  Andy and Max also came in clutch with the "Dude, Where's My Car" tats on the upper back.  These were a big hit as they got two or maybe even three compliments.  Andrew went with a big "OH YEAH PARTY BRO" across the torso.  Some British "friends" we bumped into also wrote TEAM DANDO on us and made it sound like it was a cool thing.  Unfortunately, they were dicks and it probably meant something homosexual.

Once the body paint and party mind sets were intact, we attacked the dance area like Navy SEAL Team 6.  Andrew busted out his 2012 and even his 2013 dance moves.  The pinnacle of the dancing came when we ran into one of our Dubai bros on the dance floor.  He came at us with stunner shades on, pectorals pumping, and fists raging in all directions but perfectly on beat to the music.  While we were immediately impressed with his moves, we immediately fired back by beating the beat up while hopping laterally in sequence.  The dance off of the year was on!  After about fifteen minutes of intense battle in the sand, our sweaty competition ended in a draw.

The different dance stages had different levels of weirdness.  Per our standard procedure, we wanted to get weird and spent most of our time at the weirdest stage on the beach.  If you can't tell, we decided to go with an array of bright colored hot boy shorts as our outfits.  This was an obvious choice as we did not want to look like pudgy thirteen year old Cholos in baggy cargo shorts.

Here are some of the lesser drunk people at one of the less weird stages.

Here are a bunch of girls who tried really hard to get with us, but we punked them out.

Once every few hours, we would take a break and relax our calf muscles.  We could have gone twelve hours straight, but we enjoyed talking to some of the rookies who couldn't handle more than eight whiskey red bull buckets.

Stuntin' in the secret VIP section below the stage.

Here we are still going strong at 3am.  The serious work we were doing on the dance floor resulted in most of our body paint being sweated off at this point.

At sunrise, the party was still raging aside from the hundred or so people who were passed out in the sand.

At 6am, we were still hanging in there.  Our legs, however, were completely shot.  This limited our dancing to head nods and fist pumps.

Finally, at 8am, we landed back on Koh Samui with our friends from Dubai.  Once we arrived back at our hotel around 9, we began our forty hour recovery period.  This consisted of only getting out of bed to eat Whoppers, pizza, and ice ceam.  Unfortunately, deep sleep was tough to come by as we were staying across the street from a ladyboy cabaret that bumped extremely loud party music late into the night.  Although the loud music was terrible, Andrew was able to catch a glimpse of some ladyboy yetties out the hotel room window.  He claims they were better than other nats hes come across during his erotic past.  He was surprised, but this did not prevent him from yelling "Please turn it the fuck down ladyboys!"

Operation Koh Samui (According to Andy, this is a "Meet the Parents" line)

Our "fifteen hour" bus ride from Bangkok to Koh Samui turned out to be the twenty hour bus ride from hell.  The one positive was that the bus showed a whole season of Weeds to start the trip.  The worst part was the bathroom on the bus not draining properly.  We were essentially sitting in a bathroom along with forty other people with a toilet that didn't flush.

Luckily, we've gotten accustom to sleeping in uncomfortable situations.  Here we are waiting outside at 6:00am for a different bus to take us to a ferry.  If it weren't for a group of ten crazy Mexicans we were hanging out with, the ride might have killed us.   Nothing makes me happier than a group of stoner Mexicans who constantly yell in Mexican at each other.  That's a serious statement.

Once we arrived at Koh Samui, we quickly realized prices were much steeper on the island.  For example, stir fried blue crap with Indian curry cost an unbelievable 150 baht ($5).  Island jerks.

One great activity on Koh Samui is playing little kids at Connect Four for money.  This little girl whooped up on Andy and Andrew before losing her life savings to Max.  Unfortunately, they played for double or nothing. She weaseled a win.

Another cool thing happened when we ran into this duo of hookers two nights in a row.  Don't get me wrong we see plenty of hookers every night, but we first saw these girls at a Burger King smashing Whoppers.  The next night, we spotted them eating at McDonalds across the street!  One of them was even eating a Fish Sandwich.  How disgusting is that?  Understandably, they were embarrassed about being spotted two nights in a row being naughty and didn't want to cooperate with the picture.

The only really nice thing about Koh Samui is the beach.  We've been able to catch up on some educational reading and healthy tanning.  After the sun went down, we spent our time playing pool, watching Fast and Furious 5 (badass), and perfecting our dancing skills.  Needless to say, we are really growing a lot as young adults and making the most of our time abroad.

Here is Andrew doing the first American plank on Koh Samui.  As you can tell, Andy was quite amazed and intrigued with his friend's record setting performance (dick).

Here's Andrew prepping for the Full Moon party.

Max's skills were so on point that he was invited to go on the VIP stage.  For some reason, no one else decided to join him on stage.

The night ended with Andrew giving an euphoric scream demanding more bass.

Two Nights in Bangkok and the World's Your Oyster Twice (This post kind of sucks if you can't tell already by the title)

Cue the party tunes:

We took a flight out of Hanoi and landed in Bangkok a few hours later.  Luckily, while we were waiting at the airport, we were able to catch the end of the game five Heat/Celtics series where LeBron scored the last ten points of the game to win the series.

Once we got into Bangkok, we checked into this old school budget hotel that tried to be classy by enforcing stupid rules.  These rules included not putting your feet on the furniture, not being loud, and not bringing back any hookers.  We really only struggled with the feet on the ground rule as we are morally sound gentlemen.

The one advantage to Hotel Stiff was that it had an awesome swimming pool in the back!  Check out Andrew in the middle of a back one and a half.  

We spent the first night attending a Muay Thai boxing event.  The fighters all looked to be under 13 years old, but they could probably all kick our asses.  Yea right!

Here's a loser of a fight.

Here's a winner of a fight.

Here's three white guys who were cheering loudly ringside while drinking lots of beers.  Andrew was not being creepy with the young Thai boy in front of him despite what this picture portrays.  The young boy's brother was fighting while this picture was taken.  He lost.

The next night, we met up with our friend Kelly and went out with some of her friends.  It was lots of fun.  We then hopped on what we were told was a fifteen hour bus ride down south to Koh Samui.  It was a short stop off in the heart of Thailand, but two more nights were more than enough.

Here's a bonus shot of Sexy Andy.